A Perfect Life
by Fey Phantom
Summary: His life is perfect until the unimaginable happens. How can he cope? Please R&R! It's my first HA fic. The rating is for older themes. Finished
1. A Perfect Life

AN/ This is my first HA fic. It is short but it makes a point on life. It's in 1st person POV.

Disclaimer: Hey Arnold, don't own it, don't want it… well maybe. Also, if there really is a movie called "Love's Kiss", I don't own it! I DO own the story line however!

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A Perfect Life

By Dreamer

My life is going great. I'm getting high marks in school, I have a full scholarship for university next year, and I've got a great girlfriend. Basically, my life is perfect and nothing can hurt me.

Let me tell you a bit more about my wonderful girl. She has a great sense of humor, she's popular, beautiful, she's very sweet and smart. To describe her in one word, perfect. She loves me ever so much, and I do her the same.

Tonight, I'm taking her to a romance flick at the old theater. It's called "Love's Kiss". Supposedly, so many couples went and ended up making out that they had to hire a security person to walk up and down the aisles with a flashlight! Ha! I would never do that to my girl. Not unless she wanted me to… but that's beside the point.

Anyway, I'm almost ready to pick her up. I check myself over in the mirror, making sure I look good. To my right, I hear the mail slide through the mail slot on the door. I go over to pick it up. Bill, bill, junk mail, bill, and a letter addressed to me. I put the rest of the mail on the phone stand and I take the letter opener and go to sit down on the couch. I rip open the envelope and pull out a pink sheet with writing on it. I look at the writing. I see numerous blotches of ink where it seems droplets of water met with still wet ink. I read:

Dear Arnold,

It's been fifteen long years since that first day I laid my eyes on you. I fell instantly in love. You were the only one that had ever cared about me. Six years later, I told you how I felt, remember? Atop Scheck's building?

You, however, wanted everything to go back to the way it was before. You couldn't love me, so I didn't want to hurt you. I agreed to 'forget' about you. But I couldn't. Day and night, your picture hung clear in my mind and your voice haunted my dreams, I was madly in love with you, and still am. But I know I can never have you.

That is why I've made a decision. I don't want to hurt you and nobody else will miss me, so, goodbye Arnold. Forget about me.

With Love,

Helga G. Pataki

I finish the letter and panic is swept through me. I can't feel my legs as I run out the door. Fear, hurt and sadness are the emotions that are running through my mind as I run to her house. I remember her not being at school. When I brought her homework to her house, her parents said she wasn't home. She had been gone since the night before. Her father simply said, "She's probably gone and got herself knocked up. She's old enough, she can try and take care of herself!" I felt sorry for her.

When I reach her house, the police are already there. "Helga's dead," one of the police officers explain to me. They carry her body out in a black bag. "She was found when her mother cleaned the attic above her room. She was next to some strangely assorted decorations, with her hands over a knife in her heart." Just as I feared, suicide.

The world begins to spin. I feel nauseous. I can't see as my limbs go numb. I fall to the ground with a 'thud' and I black out. The last thing I think is, "You hurt me more than you'll ever know."

What did ya think??? PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! I'm begging… Please!

Anyway, enough of that. I just wanted to say, this story reflects the feelings of the friends of people who commit suicide. 

It might be tough on you, but running away from your problems effects everyone who knows you.

There's my two cent advice, maybe you can by a candy with it? Of course it's not worth much because it's Canadian…

Anyway, I'm tired 'cause I've had a long training camp today and tomorrow is much of the same thing, so until next time!

~Dreamer


	2. Life Goes On

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A Perfect Life

Life Goes On…

I still remember that day so clearly. Unlike the weather now. I look out my skylight and watch as small beady little water droplets fall to the surface of the glass and splatter out, just like the explosion my stomach is still recovering from. I feel nauseous.

On that one faithful day, I remember waking up in a hospital bed. I open my eyes and squint in the light from the ceiling. My eyes are dry and my stomach is tight. It takes me a while to remember why I was there… Helga. She did the one thing that could possibly hurt me more than anything else imaginable. It feels like a part of me has died. A part that if not healed soon, I would also meet my demise.

How could she do this? Didn't she realize that so many people cared for her? I can remember the faces of her parents, at the door as the police carried their daughter's body away. Olga was probably on the first plane home as soon as she heard of the news. Then again, Helga probably did this as a last resort. 

I start to wonder, what time _is_ it? I look up around the ceiling of the room. Everything is so white; the light reflects and blinds me. I can make out a clock in the far right hand corner, above the door. It's 10:08. My guess is it's morning.

I look down and start twiddling my thumbs. I feel so lost without Helga. She always gave me an order to follow. It's weird, but it's almost as if she kept me in line. Like, all through some of the adventures I'd have, she was right there, backing me up. Heck, maybe she _was_ there backing me up. I feel as though her whole life revolved around me. Thinking about this gives me anger. I clench my fists together and flop back down on my pillow. Once again, my eyes are met with that familiar white. I start to wonder, do they make these walls so white in order to comfort the dying? So when they finally part this world to that of the darkness, they are relieved? It's quite possible. I know _I_ want darkness right now!

For some reason, I feel open, as if the light is shinning right through me. Open, as Helga must have felt when she told me _everything_. I know I'll never understand how she truly felt, but I think I'm beginning to understand. Why did I have to be so… heartless? Helga thought of me as a god, sent to her by the heavens. Perhaps wherever her soul is now, she has found a person worthy of being worshipped by her. Not a jerk like me.

The days after that went on slowly. Wherever I turned, I felt horrible. Nausea became one of my biggest comforts. 

I haven't eaten in days. I still lie on my bed, looking up to the vast sky. I wonder where Helga is now. I close my eyes and try to picture her. Her image fades more and more each day, as does the pain. I feel like my whole life is becoming meaningless. I'm empty, devoid of any emotion. My grades have plummeted along with any chance of a scholarship. But why continue living when you know you're such a horrible person? The only thing I deserve is the death sentence. I don't realize as my body drifts off to yet another restless sleep. Helga, do I deserve to live?

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What did you think? R&R please!!!

I swear I'm not suicidal; I just seem to be good at angst stories. If you ask nicely in a **review** (hint*hint), I might write more… 

Until next time,

~ Dreamer


	3. Haunting My Dreams

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A Perfect Life

Haunting My Dreams

The world is dark. I look down street after street. Everything is bare. I can't hear anything around me. This world is completely empty, like my emotions have been the past few weeks. I walk and walk, letting my feet guide me. I find myself being led to the park. As I walk through the open gates, I glance around. Everything looks gloomy and dull. It all looks dead. I sit down on a bench. It's freezing to the touch, but I get used to it quite rapidly. _Arnold!_ I hear my name echo from afar. _Arnold! _My name echoes again. The voice is getting louder. It reminds me of someone I know, or at least, used to know. _Hey Arnold!_ There she is. Standing at the gate of the park is an old friend of mine. Well, at least I considered her a _friend_ most of the time. She was my tormentor since preschool. The most unlikely bully dressed in pink. She's not the older teenager I knew only a few weeks ago, but the nine year old girl, who to me, had still been completely shrouded in mystery.

She walked up to me putting her hands on her hips. "Hey Arnold! Whatcha doing here, Football Head?" She walks over to me and sits down. Next to me, she feels warm. I shuffle a little closer to her, intrigued by the warmth. Helga just scowls at me and shoves me back. It's funny, for once I am looking down on her, and trust me, she looks a lot less frightening. I snicker at the thought. She glances up at me, "What's so funny?"

I feel so good. This is the first time I've laughed, subconsciously or not, in a long while. Helga just sits there looking up at me, puzzled. I calm myself down. I start to think about the past years, wondering where I'm going with my life. I sigh.

"Is something wrong?" I hear Helga's voice question sincerely.

I look up at her and speak for the first time, "No, it's okay. Nothing I can't handle on my own." I say it while keeping my eyes on one particular rock on the ground. I don't want her to see through me and frankly, I believe my eyes are most vulnerable to that.

"You know Arnold," she speaks again, "lying isn't one of your best points." I look up at her almost startled as to how fast she figured me out. Am I really that open? "Arnold, why won't you tell me? I promise I won't insult you." She looks up at me with pleading eyes. How can I refuse? Besides, maybe she can help.

"Okay," I give in, "I have a friend that is… well, gone. I miss her. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost." Helga is looking intently at me, drinking in every word I say. "I'll never see her again and it's my fault. She told me that she loved me and," I'm cut off by Helga. 

" You didn't love her back, is that it?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "What should I do?"

"Well, if she really loved you, than she would never have intended to hurt you this much. You should move on. Not completely forget about her, but not slave over her loss either." Even though this _is my_ subconscious, I still can't help but notice that Helga really was that mature and wise for her age.

I smile, "Thanks for understanding, Helga."

"Ya well, don't get used to it, bucko!" Helga scowls then gets up to walk away. She turns back one more time and smiles, "Anytime." She continues to walk and the dark world begins to fade.

I open my eyes and see the sunlight pour in through the windows above. Helga, thank you.

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~ Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself. ~ Chief Seattle

Wow, this fic is turning out to be a chapter fic! There's something I didn't plan on. Anyway, now I have a story line to go by, so expect more (hopefully soon)!

~ Dreamer


	4. Misery Loves Company

AN/ Finally, an update! Jumps up and down for joy. Enjoy and REVIEW!!!

Disclaimer: If ya haven't noticed, this here place is called FANfiction.net. As in, this is a place for fans of whatever. If you want to see some original fiction pieces, go to the 'originals' column and let us here folks live, and write, in peace! (These are fun. I haven't done one in a while! ;D )

A Perfect Life

Misery Loves Company

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Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold… my alarm clock sounds. I open my eyes reluctantly, wishing my time with Helga hadn't ended so soon. It has been only a few weeks since the first night I saw her in the park. Although it's a dream, I feel as though her soul has come back to me, to set everything right. I have been enjoying all this time together. Helga commented that I look a lot better.

Unfortunately, today I must venture back through the halls of my high school. I climb out of bed and drag myself to the bathroom. It's so early, even the boarders haven't started to line up to use the one and only bathroom (not including Grandpa's hidden one in the basement). I bring myself into the shower and let the water wake me up.

After pulling on a black T-shirt, some blue jeans and a plaid orange button-up long sleeve shirt, I run downstairs and pack my lunch. "Care for some breakfast this morning Short Man?" my Grandpa asks me. I'm not really that short anymore but the nickname just seems to stick with me. I decide that if I'm to have any energy at all for school, I may as well get hyper on sugar. So I go in the kitchen and gobble down a bowl of Sugar Chunk Cereal (nothing but calories— trust me). After breakfast, I run up stairs, grab my bag and race the ever young heard of animals out the door.

For some reason, I feel better than usual. Maybe it's just the cereal, but ever since Helga first showed up, I've been feeling more—how should I put this— alive. I walk a few blocks towards school before I am accompanied by another set of feet. Beside me walks my best friend since preschool, Gerald.

"Hey! How ya feeling today?" he asks me. I look up at him and notice his expression. It seems he is stuck between smiling and frowning at me, not knowing which one is more appropriate right now.

I sigh, "I'm fine Gerald and… thanks." His expression changes to confusion, oblivious to what I'm thinking. I stifle a laugh as we continue our trek towards school. I begin to think about the school day and I remember that Gerald and I have set up our timetables to get nearly every class together.

We walk together down the crowded hallways of the school. Tired, sleep-deprived teenagers drag their feet towards their first classes of the day. Other more enthusiastic and energetic teens border the walls talking about their nights and how they got hung over at somebody's 'totally cool' party. Gerald and I stop in front of our lockers. I listen as Gerald tries to explain the last week's assignments from various classes I've missed during my 'sick' leave.

I hear a few people walk up behind me. "Hey Ar—nold!" I hear the mocking voice of Harold address me as if I were a toddler.

"Shove off!" Gerald defends me.

"How's it been, Arnold?" Sid takes his turn to talk. "I've noticed you've been skipping school. Like I said before, you got guts," Sid acts impressed. I think about how life truly is odd. If you are untrustworthy, you are dubbed 'cool'. If you're intelligent, you're shunned for being smarter than all the 'cool' teens.

"Arnold," I hear Harold's obnoxiously juvenile voice once more, "missing your girlfriend, Helga?"

I am filled with hurt and anger at the mention of Helga's name being used so insultingly. I clench my fists and grit my teeth. I have only one intention in my mind, to hurt Harold as hard as I possibly can.

I get ready to punch him but suddenly feel a calming hand on my shoulder. I look to my side and see Gerald, cool as always, smiling at me. I smile back. I turn back to Harold and say, "Whatever you say, Harold, whatever you say." Gerald and I walk away leaving Harold stumped as to why his attempt at making me miserable failed.

"You're a bold kid, Arnold," Gerald states as we continue our way towards class.

"Hey Arnold," a sweet voice rings in my ears. A voice I haven't heard in a while. I turn to see an auburn beauty. A stranger I once knew like the palm of my hand. "I haven't seen you in so long. Are you okay?" she asks while sliding her arms around my shoulders.

"I'm fine, Lila. I just haven't been myself lately," I sigh.

"I know it's tough to loose a friend but, why don't you think about it from my perspective. I feel that I'm loosing you." A new feeling surges through my system—betrayal. "Haven't you mourned over Helga enough?" I don't answer. "Then why don't you come back to me when you're through thinking about her. _I'm_ your girlfriend and _I_ demand respect. Tell me when your ready to give it to me," she frowns and walks away.

I am left feeling hurt. _How could she? How can she be so… so cold?_ I yell after her, "Lila, we're through!" She turns to look at me. However, unlike the shock I anticipated, I see her smiling.

"Arnold, man, what are you doing?" Gerald tries to understand.

I keep my eyes fixed on her. Her smirk widens and she grins, flashing her pearly whites for all to see. It's at this very moment when I realize that nobody's perfect, not even Lila. I can see evil inside her. Her eyes, just like mine, give her away. "I always knew you weren't good enough for me. You always had to be right. You always had to make the 'right' choices. Actually, you have become quite the downer at parties. You won't even allow me to enjoy myself. Frankly, good riddance! Later, loser!" She turns and continues to walk away.

I begin to notice the many pairs of eyes watching this scenario, now the less compassionate ones are all turned to see my reaction. A few heads nod in approval, obviously happy that the babe, Lila, is back on the market. Others chatter in their groups and every few moments look up to see me, obviously not wanting to seem as rude as some of the others. I walk away, deciding that this is going to be a very long day.

Hope you enjoyed and R-E-V-I-E-W-E-D! If not, the button's just at the bottom of this page, and I accept anonymous reviews, so, WRITE! It only takes a few seconds! 

I've written the next few chapters but the next chapter won't be up 'till it's typed on my computer and right now it's mid-semester and I have a couple of projects due this next week, along with trying to get together with my long-lost best friends that go to a different school than me, so 'till then! Bye!

~ Dreamer (I'll write another quote next time, just not in the mood right now)


	5. A Misunderstood Betrayal

I'M BACK! I survived my worst semester yet and I'm ready to enjoy summer… as soon as exams are over. ^-^' Anyway, I'm sure you've waited enough for this… on with the story!

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A Perfect Life

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A Misunderstood Betrayal

The only thought that got me through the rest of the day was of seeing Helga that night. There are only a few more weeks of school and then I'm out of here. If I pull my marks up enough, a few of the colleges I applied to told me they would accept me. I know, with Helga's support, I'll make it. She's always been there for me, even when I didn't want her there or knew she was there. The one person I know I can count on. My own guardian angel.

That night, I work hard on everything I have missed. I decide that this is where I decide the path I'm going to take, for better or worse. My eyelids begin to sag and I rest my head on my workbook. I fall into a deep sleep.

I'm walking along the now-familiar darkened street. I make my way to the park where I see Helga sitting on a bench. "Hey Football Head. What took you so long?"

"Homework," I answer.

A thought pops into my head. 'Only a few more weeks of school.' "Hey Helga, will you come to my graduation ceremony?"

She seems surprised at first but then smiles. "What kind of a question is that?" she asks, "I wouldn't miss it for the world!" I feel joy come over me and with that, we spend the rest of the time talking about current news.

Finally, as we line up in rows and the announcer takes the stand to address the crowd, I feel happiness I never knew I'd feel again. In a few hours, I will leave this auditorium. Leave some of these people forever. Leave this part of my life and begin a new one. As my name is called, I walk to the podium, take my certificate of graduation, and look out to the flashing lights of cameras as I shake my principal's hand, posing. I can just make out my grandmother, grandfather and family of borders. I look around the auditorium and notice someone's missing. I begin to look frantically to the outer edges of the room, barely touched by light, but she is nowhere to be seen. I can't even hear the principal whispering to me to continue on my way across the stage. My world spins once more. The one person I thought I could count on and she didn't show up. Helga, how could you?

So what d'ya think? I hope you enjoyed this. I should be installing the last chapter shortly… hang tight! ^-^

I love this quote so enjoy! ;)

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Some day my boat will come in, and with my luck I'll be at the airport. 

~ Graffiti


	6. Epilogue: A Shaded Future

Disclaimer: As always, the characters are all borrowed for this non-profit fic and are owned by Craig Bartlett and Nick and such. I also added a line from Harry Potter (perfect for the point I used it in and I couldn't think of a better line for that moment) which is owned by J.K. Rowling and her people.

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A Perfect Life

Epilogue: A Shaded Future

Helga never showed up. Not during my grad night. Not for the summer. Not for my first day of college either. I began feeling completely alone again. I was on the verge of being kicked out of college. No one could help me.

I cut myself off from the world and waited. I don't know why though. I lost my faith and my hope for a better future. "Things aren't going to be better, are they?" I kept telling myself. Eventually, I drove even Gerald away. I was unapproachable and intended on staying that way. I couldn't feel anymore. Emotions were a blur I wanted to wipe from my eyes but couldn't.

I began skipping classes. What was the point? I would never become anything important so why should I waste everyone's time? I remembered something Phoebe once told me. She said that no matter how down I was feeling, it could always be worse and that I should make the most of my day because every moment is precious. Besides, you never know when you'll die, and once you do, that was it; no second chances.

I laughed mentally. All I wanted to do was die. Give in to the pain I was feeling so deep inside. I had pushed the feeling so deep inside my body was like an imperishable stone, unable to warm up, unable to feel. My limbs were constantly numb to the wind and my eyes were always closed, no matter how open they appeared to be. I could hear nothing but ringing, could smell nothing but decay, and could taste nothing but bitterness.

One day, I woke up and realized that this daily routine was pointless. I wrote my own goodbye letter, much like Helga had done the year before, but I wrote it to an anonymous person, another dark face in a crowd of strangers. I left my room for what I felt would be the last time, without glancing back at the life I was leaving.

I traveled the subway systems until I found myself at my favorite retreat; a small park in the ever growing metropolis. Once there, I walked until I came to a bridge. Below me, icy waters, from the chilly February morning, were swept under the layers of ice that covered the top, bringing each molecule of water to an impending doom. Stone cold, just like me…

I imagine my acquaintances, Gerald, Phoebe, Grandpa, Grandma. I choke as a tear runs down my cheek. I thought I would never feel again. Sadness overtakes me. I climb the barrier on the bridge, holding onto a lamppost and looking down. The wind blows and the cool air keeps any possible eye-witnesses indoors. The faces of the strangers I once called family stare, shouting out words I can not hear. My attention is returned to the rapid river flowing at a constant speed below me. One step. One step is all it takes for me to end this.

I've messed up. I've hurt those I cared about. When Gerald needed encouragement I pushed him away. When Phoebe needed reassurance, I ignored her. When my grandparents tried to help me, I dug my own grave. I am overwhelmed with grief. They all wanted to help me and I wouldn't let them. I decided that I wouldn't hurt anyone else. I let all of them down. It was time for me to stop this. To stop hurting everyone close to me. To stop causing all this pain. It started ten years ago with Helga and went down hill from there. Everyone would be better off without me. With that one last thought, I lifted my foot from the barrier and stepped forward.

However, before I could throw my weight forward, I heard someone crying. I stopped and looked around. On a bench nearby I saw the person's who was crying. It was the innocent voice of a nine-year-old girl. She wore a pink dress and a pink bow in her hair. She was a familiar stranger to me. I turned around and jumped onto the security of the bridge. I was lured to the girl. I stopped beside her and sat down.

The bench was cold to the touch and with every tear that fell from the girl's eyes, a new sense of pain seemed to emanate from the bench. "What's wrong?" I asked.

The girl took staggering breaths with every word she spoke. "I… just… can't understand… how you could… how you… could… just throw away your life so carelessly!" she finished.

I didn't know what to say until I finally said her name, "Helga." I realized who was sitting in front of me. The same girl who abandoned me; who broke her promise and left me hanging out to dry. I feel anger building up inside of me. "You left me!" I yell. " You promised to come and you never showed up!"

"You're wrong," she answers me in a timid voice.

"Oh, Really?!" I reply, trying to get a proper answer out of her.

"You're wrong," she repeats, "because I was there, as I will always be; in your heart. You may not always see me but I will always be there and in the worst of times, you can trust that I will be watching over you."

I am a little shocked by her answer. "Arnold, it doesn't do to dwell on the past and forget to live. You don't have to forget Helga, just remember her and what she cared about. She cared about you. She didn't want you to be sad. She made a bad choice but you can't bring her back. Unfortunately, she never had anyone there for her. No one to tell her not to do it. No one to advise her differently. But you can't save her now. You can only remember her and honour her memory. Arnold go back. Back to your family and friends. Back to your life and be happy. I may not always seem to be around, but I'll always be here," she finished by placing a hand on my chest, over my heart. And soon enough afterward, her body faded. The last thing I saw of her was her warm smile across her face.

I sat there a while longer and eventually returned to my dorm. I packed my things and left. I had decided to go on some kind of soul searching journey, after I patched things up with my friends and family of course. I also visited Helga's grave one last time to say goodbye.

I learned a lot from Helga. She taught me to live. She taught me what true friendship is. She taught me that no matter how down you feel there is always a blue sky above you. She taught me that there is always someone there who cares for you, even if you feel like the loneliest person in the world. And she taught me just how perfect my life is, not because everyday is the first day of the rest of my life, but because I can see the flaws in everyday and can learn to enjoy the bad with the good.

~ The End ~

Well, I hope you enjoyed it. I finally finished. J J J 

Comments would be greatly apreciated and very helpful for my future stories.

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Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. 

~ Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy


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